Black Friday and the Economy

Scott Erb at World in Motion recently explained at his blog what a real economy is. Economic matters are generally above my pay-grade:), but from his article, I understood that in order for any business or government entity to succeed, there must be a useful product that is created and sold, with both processes generating jobs and profits. The ‘financial instruments,’ created by greedy financiers were a way to artificially create wealth for themselves. There was no actual product made and sold—only numbers on paper. No wonder it all crashed.

The banks also knew the people receiving ‘sub-prime’ (no questions asked, high-rates-and-fees) home loans would not be able to pay them back when their Adjustable Rate Mortgage payments went up, or their notes became due in a few years, but the lenders didn’t care because their salaries and bonuses were incredible. If they’re going to pay me to do this, why shouldn’t I? In the old days, bankers were required NOT to make these loans or do anything else that could affect the stability of the bank. Our government probably did have to bail them out to save our American way of life, but boy, did we get taken.

Which somehow brings me to all the TV commercials for Black Friday, the biggest shopping day of the year. Something has been eating at me. What truly has value? Are we out shopping like mad-people, scrambling for the best deals on a bathrobe, a sweater, a tie or flat-screen TV? Or are we shopping thoughtfully? Would a letter written from our hearts, expressing love or gratitude, or sharing hope and encouragement mean more? If, for whatever reasons you’ve had to cut back, cut back. This was another lesson learned the hard way by me—using credit to maintain a working-lifestyle when I got sick and could no longer work, and it led me to bankruptcy.

Christmas was once a love story of the heart, the tale of God becoming a man so that he could relate to us and our problems, and show us how to live. But first, he was born a baby boy, with a giant star appearing above him in the sky and choirs of angels singing so that humans in the area could hear them. It wasn’t about shopping at all. It was about a miracle.

Think of what is really valuable to the person receiving your gift. I know that children love toys, but the rest of us older people, high-schoolers to elders—we know why we can’t spend money that we don’t have. We can all write heartfelt letters to our friends and members of our family. I know family members can be a pain-in-the-rear, but we each have redeeming qualities and these can and should be acknowledged. One year, I gave letters praising my family members for who they were and what a difference they had made in my life. I think they all still have them; I hope they take them out once in a while to read again about how special they are. I hope, also, that your Christmas celebration will be memorable for the love shared by your family.

God, My Friend

I remember the first time I read something the great spiritual guide from India, Paramahansa Yogananda, had written, in which he spoke of Jesus Christ as his Friend. Friend—as in someone you can lean on and who loves you, who cares for your welfare—someone who’s got your back. This struck a chord deep within me, for I wanted God to be my friend. I wanted to walk through life, my arm linked with His, having genuine conversations about healing my missteps, finding my soul’s purpose, and how to know the deepest truths. I wanted, needed, God to be my loving buddy, not a fire-breathing, sword-wielding, sin payer-backer. Jesus did knock over the bazaar tables at the temple, because temples and churches are meant for worship, but mostly he spoke of love and peace and forgiveness. He taught, “Go about the business of your life, but carry your Father, who loves you, in your heart wherever you are.” I’ve dreamed about Jesus Christ, being a person in the crowds following Him, His words swelling my heart until I thought it would burst.

So it was that Paramahansa Yogananda, a man from India, cracked open the door to my heart by introducing me to Jesus Christ as my Friend, which eventually led to my love-awakening this year, when I realized how much God loves us all, all six-billion+ of us, not one to be turned away from Love’s Home.

 

A Sorting Machine for Our Thoughts

You know what I wish we came with? A sorting machine for our thoughts. I remember when my former mentor would point out my patterns of thinking—and I would be shocked, or deny them altogether. It took years of meditation and a deep need to know the truth before I could admit certain things about who I was and how I thought.

A sorting machine seems easier. It would have compartments that would fill up according to the feeling behind the thought, and every day, we’d see the tallies of our thousands of thoughts: what we think about ourselves, about other people, about stuff, about life. Slam! In your face reality! Every day!

It would be overwhelming, wouldn’t it?

I guess that’s another thing to be grateful for about our thoughts. I’ve written a couple of times about how quickly messed up the world would be if what we all thought manifested right as we thought it. And this is another: We don’t have to see, or tally up our thoughts until we can handle doing so. It is strange though, what a mess we make of our lives by how and what we think.

The truth is, the thoughts we send rippling into the world not only reflect who we are, but they join with similar thoughts, or energy. And this is why fear is such a killer of life well-lived—we won’t even get close as long as the gigantic mass of fear circling our world continues to gain mass and momentum.  

We may not have thought-sorting machines, but we can ‘tune in’ more, see what we’re thinking and cancel the negative thoughts we observe. I say, “Cancel, cancel!” when I see them and reform the thought into a positive one, like when I’m driving and project anger at another driver, I think, “I’m sorry. God bless you, God bless you, God bless you, God bless you,” until I get over the anger. It is hard work observing our thoughts, but when we take them back, we draw them out of the growing poisonous-energy field and when we create blessing-thoughts, we build the love-energy field. That’s our real job here: To build the love-energy field.

Thank you, dear reader, for stopping here today.

I Don’t Know the Difference Between 5 and 6?

Oh, boy. On the 14th I posted a celebratory piece about my sixth-month blogging-anniversary. My friend, Anita, said she couldn’t believe six months had gone by. “Yesiree, Bob!” I said.

As I was falling asleep this afternoon, the thought goes through my mind, Yup, six-month anniversary, June 14 to December 14. I sit up, count on my fingers and sure enough, November 14th was my five-month anniversary. No wonder Anita couldn’t believe six months had gone by.

Please accept my apology for my brain-fogged mind finding its way onto this blog. I work really hard at double checking everything, hoping to catch mistakes like this. I was so excited the day I thought it was my sixth month anniversary, there was no way anything reasonable could get through. Another lesson: Always count on my fingers before I press the Publish button.:)

I wish you and yours a blessed weekend.

Mommy, Is This the Real World?

One day when I was folding laundry, my then-almost-five-year-old daughter walked into the room and said, “Mommy, I have a question.”

“Okay,” I said, placing a towel. “What is it?”

“I can’t tell if when I’m sleeping is the real world, or if this is the real world.”

Whoa, is she my daughter, or what? “Well, sweetie, I think I’ve decided that since we spend more time awake than asleep, this is the real world. But I can’t say for sure.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks, mommy.” And she skipped out of the room, leaving me wondering how I was supposed to answer questions like that from a five-year-old.

Every spiritual practice I’ve read about discusses the veil between this world and the world of light—the real world. So, where do we fit in when we’re awake and when we’re asleep? I love that our dreams teach us about ourselves, and that we can fly, and swim under water without gills, and speak and cause things to happen. I suppose having those powers is also why we have to wake up. We can’t all speak and cause whatever we want to happen; that really would be a disaster.

I guess being born on earth really is school, with our dreams occasionally showing us what is possible when goodness rules, when we’re kind to ourselves and each other. And when we’re balanced, when we know that we’re not the center of the universe, yet we are precious to God; that it’s not about what we take, but what we produce and give; and that the darkness we see in this world is a con job—that our true home is in the light.

Love-Beliefs

As we age, a lot of our beliefs are pummeled, stretched or dropped altogether. We’re usually not so polarized later in life; things are less black and white and more gray. Can the emotion of love change, or is it simply us changing?

I know there are several kinds of love: What a mother feels for her children, what she felt when she met her husband, what he feels after twenty years of marriage and how their children love them; the love a pastor feels for his congregation and what they feel back for him (or her); what two high school kids feel for each other; and how grandparents love their children’s children. There are others, but the one that is on my mind tonight is God’s love.

Does God love us unconditionally or does God condemn us for our weaknesses? This is something we’ve all wondered about because we’ve all made mistakes, some worse than others. Toward the end of life, many of us wish we could go back and change that one really terrible thing we did, or undo the hurt we did to others, maybe by abandoning them or raising them as a mean alcoholic. Whatever—we can all relate to having hurt other people. No matter how good our intentions, we can’t seem to help ourselves and we stumble. We are human and mistake-making is part of being human.

So, are we condemned? I don’t think we are. I’ve thought about this a lot. Do we condemn our children when they make mistakes? Most of us don’t, because we know life is a trial and error experience—this is how we humans learn. If we humans can love our children, God, our creator, must love us a million times more, because of a great capacity for love. In my meditations, God is love and compassion and peace. So, I’m going with love, forgiveness and a deep sense that we’re all going home to God.

 

What I Would Tell My Children Before I Die, A Guest Post by Sharie, Spirit-Teacher

This is the fifth parenting post that I’ve published in the last weeks, four from fellow moms and dads. I hope you find their experiences and wisdom as moving as I do. Sharie is a Spirit Teacher, a woman whose capacity for Love and Healing is awe-inspiring. Her blog is at http://sendingjoy.wordpress.com and she can be emailed at sayit@sendingjoy.com. Here is what she posted today at Sending Joy about this parenting article. See what I mean?   Pam, NAtP

“This would be a great exercise for everyone.  Even if we don’t have children, we should take the time to think about what we would say to them if we did, because these are the same wisdoms we should offer everyone, including ourselves.  These are the loving thoughts that perhaps we wished our parents had gifted to us.  When we offer something loving to our children, and then extend it to the world great healing happens.  Think about a world where we love and accept and enjoy and forgive each other just as we do our children.  We allow the children to make mistakes.  We accept that the children have lessons to learn and we are willing teachers. We immediately want to console a crying child. Who doesn’t want to hug a child?  Try to see everyone as a child, including yourself and see if your perception of the world doesn’t change.”  

The Dragonfly is the Symbol of Sharie's youngest daughter, Kristin

By Sharie, Spirit Teacher, http://sendingjoy.wordpress.com

First I would tell my daughters . . .
. . . that I love them more than life itself. 
. . . that I am proud of the lovely and loving women they have grown into.
. . . that my gratitude for their gifts of my grandbabies is unlimited.

Then I would tell my daughters that they are a gift; a gift to me, to each other and to the world.  And as a gift they have certain responsibilities. They have the responsibility to be happy and to share that happiness with each other and with everyone they encounter. They have a responsibility to understand the power of their energy in the world.  When they are allowing peace and love into their lives, that peace and love flows through them and helps to heal everyone and everything.  Since peace and love and happiness is their natural state, not fear and anger and guilt, it’s quite a simple matter to remember that when they are in a state of mind other than love, they must simply, and as soon as they are able, choose again. 

I would remind my daughters that they have been given the gift of easy Laughter. And that laughter means not taking the world too seriously. Laughter that heals, not hurts is very important to the betterment of the world. When they laugh with each other, their power is doubled and angels are smiling all around them.  

The Cardinal is the Symbol of Sharie's oldest daughter, Heather

I would tell my daughters that it isn’t so much what they do here, but what’s in their hearts when they do it.  And even if their intentions aren’t perfect, God’s love will make the necessary corrections and every blessing they have ever offered or tried to offer, perfect or imperfect, will be saved for them.

I would tell my daughters that before they speak, they should always try to ask for guidance so their words will come from kindness and compassion. Even if their words need to be strong, kindness and compassion can be at their core.

I would remind my daughters that they must love themselves first because it is impossible to truly love another until they first love themselves.  I would want them to understand that they are loveable no matter what they are going through or how they feel about themselves in a given moment. Or how could I love them both so much?

No matter what they are experiencing, I would want my daughters to forgive everyone and everything as quickly as possible. By forgiveness, I mean, letting go of attachment to whatever is blocking their peace about another. Forgiveness is the key to happiness and happiness is the key to a healthy life.

I would want my daughters to appreciate the beauty in the world and in their lives. I would advise them to remember every night before they go to sleep to count their blessings and to affirm positive intentions for themselves for an amazing life. They deserve it. 

I would tell them to see the world through the eyes of a child, with wonder and joyful delight. A proud sunflower,  a dew drop on a blade of grass, a dragonfly resting on a tiger lily, a cloud in the shape of an angel in flight, a bright red cardinal at the feeder, a snowflake on their nose, the light of a full moon making their backyard look other worldly. Experience it all as though for the very first time. And share it with your children. Nature when seen aright is amazing and delights the senses.

I would remind my girls to teach their children what they learned growing up, to value and respect the animals and to understand they have a purpose here. Domestic and wild, each animal brings its own beauty and loving presence into the world and helps us heal. 

I would tell my daughters that they are not their bodies, but they have a responsibility to love and care for their bodies.  Their bodies serve a purpose in helping make the world a better place and their lives easier if they allow it. They must enjoy their body and value it, not for its size or shape, but for its true design. Their smile can express kindness and love. Their voices can speak for those who can’t. Their eyes can radiate joy. Their hands can offer help and hope. Their arms can hug a child. Their feet can take them wherever they are needed and wherever they need to be. They should eat with healthy enjoyment. They should exercise until it feels good. They should play with delight. They should be grateful for their health. They should work with purpose and a sense of fun.  They should take the time to smell the lilacs, breathe in the beauty and feel the textures of life. When they use their bodies in this way, they will always be beautiful.

I would tell my daughters to never forget their spirit. Breathe. Pray. Meditate. Live a joyful life in each moment. Every day hug your husbands and your children and tell them they are a gift.

What is Heaven?

If you ask, most Americans want to go to heaven. Who wouldn’t, really? I suppose some people don’t believe in heaven or hell and they would say no. Some people might think they deserve to go to hell and are planning on it, so they would say no, too.

What is heaven and, where is heaven? I have to admit that when I pray, sometimes I look toward the sky, though I know God is everywhere, including inside us. Sometimes late at night, I look up at the twinkling sky and send messages–at least I believe I am.:) If there is no ‘place,’ then where do angels live? Are they in a fourth or fifth or sixth dimension we can’t see?

But what is heaven? Is it a state of mind, a state of being, a place we go after we die if we’ve been good—reminding me of ‘Santa’s Better Watch Out’ lists. I think it must have something to do with who we are and how we live, in the sense that what we sow, we reap. But that applies to our here and now, also, doesn’t it? How can we be filled with joy when we spend our days hurting other people? To experience heaven, we must decide ‘Human, Know Thyself,’ and see who we really are: the good, the bad and the in between. Knowing and being who we are is not only okay, it’s necessary to find heaven.

Thank you, dear reader, for being here today. May you be blessed forever and ever, amen!

Finding Shery, A Guest Post by Anita Ueno

I will continue posting in the next weeks some very interesting pieces from fellow moms and dads on their parenting experiences. I hope you will be as inspired as I am by my friends and the depth of their insight. Anita Ueno is an old friend, a woman who gave her daughter up for adoption at age 19, and later found her, adding a great deal of joy to both of their lives. Anita has dedicated her life to spiritual growth and to sharing her life experiences and wisdom with others.   Pam, NAtP 

By Anita Ueno
Aeu2a@aol.com

Being pregnant, giving birth and giving up my baby for adoption in 1960, at age 19, was one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life. And that’s saying a lot for a girl that was born into WWII in 1941, in Austria. Finding Shery, in January, 2005 was also one of the greatest joys of my life. The nightmare had turned into pure bliss.

I used to feel that I was from another planet and didn’t fit into this world at all. I felt isolated and alone, not all the time, just some of the time. When I finally found Shery, I met my soul mate. Considering that she didn’t know she was adopted, but often felt out of place herself, it’s totally incredible that we traveled to the same places, we both went skydiving, we share the same philosophies, spiritual beliefs and so much more. For years part of me was afraid of finding her; part of me felt I didn’t deserve to find her, while another part of me was afraid of possibly having to deal with a daughter that was addicted to one thing or another.

In retrospect I have to admit that she is a better person because she wasn’t raised by me. Although my mother did the best she could, my brother and I were often beaten for minor infractions. Although I’ve always loved children and would give them the attention I never got, I still lacked patience. Shery’s parents were and are wonderful. She is ‘daddy’s girl’ and her mother relies on her a lot. Shery still has dinner with them most Sunday evenings.

But the relationship Shery and I have is so precious. It’s at a soul level. I simply wouldn’t have been able to even ask for such a blessing and I definitely never felt worthy or deserving of it. Even Shery agrees that the timing of finding her was perfect. Had it been sooner, she wouldn’t have handled it as well as she did and obviously I wasn’t ready any earlier either.

I now realize that God has turned my most horrible experience into a most glorious gift. I also realize that giving Shery up for adoption was the right thing. When it sank in that she was adopted, Shery told me that her family felt there was room to love one more–me. What graciousness! Here is the text of a Mother’s Day card Shery sent to me:

Dearest Anita,

I cannot begin to express how wonderful it is to have you in my life. It has been a blessing that we have found each other after so long and how we continue to grow closer. We are truly kindred spirits and are connected in a way that I never understood was missing from my life until I met you.

I know I’ve been a ‘bit’ busy lately, and I apologize again for not being around like I used to; I miss our chats! But it feels like a brand new “Love” and it’s wonderful! It will slow down and things will get back to a new normal (?) soon. In the meantime, please know that I am always thinking about you and always wishing you love and happiness every minute of every day.

Have a wonderful Mother’s Day and I’m sure I will speak to you then, if not sooner.

Love and Aloha,
Shery

It’s My (Six–OOPS) Five Month Blogging Anniversary!

CORRECTION: I have a health problem called brain fog. I mix dates up a lot, but this was a good one! I started my blog on June 14, 2009, so on November 14th, when I posted this, it was my FIVE month anniversary. Oops.:) My six month anniversary will be on DECEMBER 14th. Other than that, everything else is true.

Today, it’s six months since I began my blog here at WordPress.com and it’s really been an amazing journey. I remember being in such a fog back then, thinking, ‘I can do a blog for a year. What is a blog, anyway?’ I began posting with a prayer for my children, who are always with me, on my mind and in my heart. I didn’t have a plan, but I researched, learning about html (Whoa! That’s how they do it? It makes my eyeballs roll around in my head.) and good links and bad links and about short posts and posts that are too long. I learned about blog-themes and how to upload photos and art. I even learned how to put art in the sidebars. (I’m a big girl now!) I’ve been so excited. I figured since God is always on my mind, too, that I could write about God, along with my kids and family. And I wanted to research the near-future. Was the world coming to an end in 2012?

I have met some simply amazing people online, people who have helped to renew my faith in mankind and who make me feel like they’re right next door, and that they care. About me, about all of us humans, our planet, the purpose of our lives. I don’t know who had the first blog idea, but I am grateful to him. Putting my diary online has opened up my life. I suffer with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia, and many days it’s hard for me to get out of bed, even for a little while. But I do and this writing has lightened my heart, helping to heal it.

I no longer pay attention to dire predictions and do not fear the future. I am certain that God is at work in our minds and hearts, preparing to change the world in dramatic ways, so that every single person on the earth will have his or her physical, mental and spiritual needs met. And our dear home, Mother Earth, is being healed–even if we can’t yet see it. We are becoming kinder, gentler people, moving toward a time of peace for all of us. Goodness and love have been tossed out of the battle ring long enough; we who ache for peace are standing up, taking hold of the ropes and sending healing energy from our hands into the ropes and out into the world, so that all will know God–all will be loved, right here, right now.

Here is what has happened at NAtP in the last six months: 180 posts as of today, 620 comments and 4321 views. I remember back in June when 50 people had looked at my blog and I ran into my daughter’s room.

“Guess what?” I said, barging in without knocking.
“Mom! You scared me! What?”
“Fifty people have looked at my blog!”
“Yeah?” she asked.
“Fifty people! Never mind,” I said and backed out the door
“Uh, that’s really good, Mom,” she shouted through the door.
“Thanks,” I said.

I wondered when WordPress would start placing ads on my blog.:) Later I found out you have to have about 80,000 views per day. Ohhhhhhh.

Another interesting effect of blogging has been my stronger connection to the other people who live in the apartments, and to trees and birds. I believe that love, wherever its source, spreads around the world, joining the rings of light that surround the planet. Thus, if I am able to be loving through the blog, it joins the light, also. But love has pushed me to show it more here. I have made friends with a lot of the kids who want to pet Max, and I try to say hello to everyone I see, though I don’t some days. I just can’t muster up the feeling somedays. I have called the police several times, too, about people hurting their children, or each other. I’ve realized how fleeting these visits by the police are; they are crime-fighters, not social workers, though they probably should be. This has increased my sense of urgency on behalf of peace, the kind of peace that will allow us all to share the planet, caring for and respecting each other and being good neighbors. I can feel the presence of my guardian angel now, protecting us, asking me to pray more for all of us, encouraging me when I am down.

I love the trees so much. They are earth-angels, giving every part of themselves to us, and in ways we can’t see. A lot of them were sick this summer, and I sent some love back. And the hawks! They don’t live here anymore, but come to visit, so I see them once in a while. Several days ago, a really young one was way up above me. I sent up a hello. In answer, it slowly soared down to right above me. I felt like if Max hadn’t been there, if I put out my arm, it would have landed. All I could say was, “Wow.”

Has blogging changed my life? Yessiree, Bob, it has!

Education of the Heart, A Guest Post by Michael Brine

I will continue posting in the next weeks some very interesting pieces from fellow moms and dads on their parenting experiences. I hope you will be as inspired as I am by my friends and the depth of their insight. Michael Brine resides in the Yukon in Canada and has dedicated his life to spreading love and consciousness-raising. He tells his son’s story here and believes our educational system needs to be reborn. After meeting some of the lost teens who live in this apartment complex, I couldn’t agree with him more. (Only fifty percent of high school teens graduate in our state, a very sad state of affairs.) Please visit Michael at Mission Ignition , Beyond the Box, or email him at wild.brine621@gmail.com. If you know of any revolutionary schools or plans, please let me know at notesalongthepath@gmail.com. Thank you, Pam, NAtP

By Michael Brine    

My father was a strict British Army Officer and I was raised in that kind of environment. He later left the army and immigrated to Canada during the depression of the 1930s and became a school teacher. With me, he was always very strict.

It follows that later when I became a father I found myself following this pattern of strictness with my son—it was all I knew—until one morning when I woke up from my sleep, I suddenly saw what I had been doing to him. It seemed that I had had an awakening during the night. I now realised I had to break this unhealthy pattern.

With this new understanding, I realised he was so unhappy in the school system and with his poor marks, that as a working single parent, I might come home one day and find him hanging in the bathroom. I was aware of a couple of recent cases of suicide of students, although these are not usually reported. With this new knowledge, I saw I had been projecting onto my own son what my father had done with me.

That same morning I sat him down and apologised to him for my behaviour, and told him that I could also see that the existing school system was dumbing him down, and how unhappy he was in it. At the time he was part way through his grade nine.

So I gave him a choice. He could either carry on within the system or he could leave school and that I would support him until he got on his feet. I pointed out that if later he wanted to complete his formal education he could do that through what we call Night School. That option was always there.

He couldn’t believe I would allow him to leave — but he took up my offer and I did support him until he got on his feet. He then became very interested in T’ai Chi and pursued it to the extent that he followed his T’ai Chi master to China where he lived and studied for five years. He earned money to support his passion by teaching English. He also became fluent in Mandarin—no easy accomplishment.

After also spending an additional year in Taiwan, he eventually returned to Canada (Vancouver) and is now attending the University of British Columbia, in his third year, taking a course in Asian Studies. I kid you not, he gets As and A+s on all his exams and his teachers are amazed. No one knows he never finished grade nine! I am being absolutely honest with you—this is not just a boastful parent—As and A+s in ALL his submissions! I believe the university has him marked as a future professor.

As a result of what we will call my ‘awakening,’ I have little use for the existing system. We dumb down our children and it is primarily for teaching a child how to “earn its living.” It removes the excitement of following his or her passion and creativity, which a Russian School I am aware of does not, with simply unbelievably amazing results, producing happy and creative children who complete in a fraction of the time what in our system takes children 10 years or more! They also cook, write textbooks and perform the administration at the school. They swim in mountain streams, dance, draw, sing, and work the crops in surrounding fields. They can use both automatic rifles and swords. Information about the school is available at TEKOS.org.

The School is the brainchild of the headmaster, Mikhail Shetinin, but there is no doubt that the teachings of a young woman called Anastasia are reflected in it. Anastasia lives in the Siberian wilderness with her grandfather and, until he died, her great-grandfather, and with the animals and birds who all love and protect her. She is considered to be a surviving member of an ancient Vedic civilization and exhibits extraordinary powers and knowledge. Books about Anastasia are available at Ringing Cedars.

The proof is in the pudding. It’s time we saw what we are doing to our children and the sad results manifesting within our societies as a consequence.

Is Your Mind Open?

I was thinking this morning about how short our lives are and how little time we have to really figure out the important stuff. From the day we’re born we’ve set ourselves on a journey that is, to some degree, predestined, in that we choose our lives. Our souls know why we’ve chosen this life: What do we need to learn? How will we go about it? I think we’ve all reincarnated as tyrants and psychopaths and caregivers and healers, and every other possible expression of humanity, simply to answer those two questions.

I like the division of a standard tarot card deck: 22 Major cards and 56 Minor cards. The 22, about one-third of the deck, have to do with what we chose for this lifetime, our destinies; and the remaining 56 cards, about two-thirds of the deck, represent our power of choice. Haven’t you wondered, ‘What if I had done this instead of that?’ Every choice we’ve made changed our direction in some way. Our experience of life does make for some fascinating stories.

What’s important is to know that we can, at any time, start over. The hard part for us humans is opening our minds. It’s that simple. I can remember three occasions as my daughter grew up when she told me, “I CAN’T DO IT,” but when I reiterated that all she had to do was open her mind—and she did—not only could she do it, she seemed to tap into some universal source of information. Suddenly, she knew more than she needed to know, all three times. That’s how it is with everything in life. We’re already here, so we may as well open our minds and learn how to make the best of it.

Thank you for stopping by NAtP today.

Time is the Essence, A Guest Post by Colleen Dubois

I will be posting in the next weeks some very interesting pieces from fellow moms and dads, on their parenting experiences. I hope you will be as inspired as I am by my friends and the depth of their insight. Please visit Colleen’s blog linked below. Her childhood experiences would have crippled many people, but not Colleen. She is truly an inspiration to all who read her essays and poetry.    Pam, NAtP

By Colleen Dubois, ColleeninCairns                                

As I’m often reminded it’s not all about me….

In the midst of a past “woe is me” mindset that was spurred on by the heartless actions of someone in my life whom I’d once trusted implicitly, I have been touched by the words of a young man, who in reaching out to me has exposed his own vulnerability with a maturity beyond his mere fifteen years. He has shared with me his own sense of isolation from those he loves, which sadly reflects that of many teenagers I know.

With a deep sigh of relief I can reflect upon my own relationship with my lovely teenage daughter and confidently report a close and trusting bond, that lends itself to frequent D&M’s (Deep and Meaningfuls) on the couch. Even very recently during a momentary pause in one such lengthy chin-wag she looked at me and said, “You know, mum, most of the kids at school don’t talk with their parents like this.” I asked her why she thought that was and she replied, “Oh, they’re all usually too busy doing their own thing.”

It made me think about a recent comment made to me by a stall holder at my local farmer’s market a couple of weeks ago. My younger daughter and I were wandering through the market, leisurely yet enthusiastically seizing every opportunity to sample the local tropical delights of fruits, cheeses, and even ‘lime and chili chocolate,’ and had stopped by The Spice Man to taste some citrus-infused ‘Relaxing Herbal Tea.’ The Spice Man commented that it was lovely to see a mother and daughter spending time in each other’s company. He referred to his own efforts as a father of two now adult daughters and how valuable such shared time was to enhancing their relationships.

I didn’t consider his feedback too deeply at the time but am coming to understand that parents, whom I have expected to be much wiser and practiced than me, appear not to acknowledge the importance of involving themselves in their children’s lives. Instead they choose to stand on the periphery as mere commentators to a sport they have forgotten how to play. Even more importantly, I feel they underestimate the value their children place on this involvement, which carries so much greater meaning than spoiling with money and other material tokens of care and attention. Most young people I know respond appreciatively to simply being listened to and understood, the most significant priority in spending “time” together.

Perhaps I take for granted the loving bond I share with my girls that has grown out of the time we share with each other, but even in the depths of despair and stress that sometimes envelope me as a sole parent, my “shard of light” in the darkness is the recognition that my daughters will prosper as a result. All the personal or financial woes in the world cannot take away from the self-confidence, optimism and sense of empowerment I see in the way my girls regard themselves, and the future journeys they will one day embark upon with gusto!

To the young man who took the time to extend his love in his own time of despair – Let your inner resilience warm your thoughts and dreams for an exciting future soon to unfold…

We’re Going to Make It, No Matter What

We live in troubling times and it’s very hard not to be discouraged by our personal difficulties, and those of our family members and friends, and by the news. Terrorism, failing economies, war, weather disasters, diseases, and the effects on us of destructive, large-scale greed-frenzies are enough to get anyone down. A lot of us Americans are having trouble sleeping. Even our children are having trouble sleeping.

During extraordinary times of trouble, we need to consciously hold ourselves together. We need to decide that we are going to make it, no matter what. Take slow, deep breaths. Remind yourself that you are a survivor. Remember your successes and dismiss ALL thoughts of failure. A good question to ask is, “Am I okay right now?” Be grateful for what you do have, because gratitude draws blessings to us. As hard as it is to be positive, a dark attitude does not draw blessings to us.

And if you’re not okay right now, you may have to look beyond your personal circles to social and non-profit services, which are available in most towns and cities. Try not to take your anger-stress out on others; they’re already really stressed, too. Practice as much kindness as you can muster and remember, “This, Too, Shall Pass.” We, because we are strong and caring people, will get through this and our country and the world will be better places because of it.

Thank you, dear reader, for stopping here today.

Flying Lessons

If I were to die tomorrow, I’d have wanted to tell my children these things today:

First, God is love, and only goodness and beauty and grace come from love. We humans have created, through the misuse of free will, all the darkness in the world. We must choose oneness with God to cleanse ourselves and the world.

Second, be yourself. Accept who you are. Don’t compare yourself to others. You are not them; you are you. You are not here to please anyone else: Follow your heart. Love who you are. It’s okay, even good, to work at being a better person, but because God is love, and we are love-cells on God’s body, we must love ourselves just as we are to become the best human being we can be. This is my most hard-won life lesson.